I like the way that title sounds. "Overwhelmed parts". The overwhelmed feelings are held by a part of me. I am not overwhelmed. Unless there's something physical dropping on my head (a bunch of kittens?), I, the whole me, am not inundated or overwhelmed. If there are big emotions involved, they can seem overwhelming. And they are at least partly held by a part.
If you are in some kind of crisis now, having lost a job, or needing money, ill or disabled, you might well have frustrated parts saying that this distress is real. It's not just parts feeling scared or desperate, it's your whole being. And how dare I reduce what you're going through to some minimal level of difficulty?
I agree. I don't really understand your dilemma right this minute. And I apologize if the rest of this writing sounds like a privileged white woman advocating some "pie in the sky" solution to real problems.
And.... I've been through crises in my life too. I know that dealing with my own parts during crises has been worth the time and effort involved. I can't really think clearly when parts are in charge.
Our parts only see things in black and white, referring to their memories of traumatic events and telling us "it is exactly like what happened before, and there was no solution then, so we are hopeless now". Our parts filter our experiences through their limited vision. Protective parts may interpret offers to help with suspicion, or tell us that we can't ask for help because nobody can be trusted. On the other hand, our overly-optimistic parts might not see any danger at all, even if it's right in front of us. So investigating inside, looking for and helping the parts that have strong feelings, is worth some time and effort.
When I listen inside I can dialogue with the part, or parts, that are feeling overwhelmed. Where do I find these feelings in my body? Concentrating on that place (maybe putting a hand there), and naming the feelings, I can ask my "getting to know parts" questions: Are there any images that come with this feeling (e.g. colors, symbols, images of the part, memories, metaphoric images)? What age do I feel when I feel this feeling? What thoughts are coming- what is the part telling me? Then I can tune inside, listen to the part, and help the part the best I can. It probably won't be perfect, but I'm working on being a "good enough" inner parent.
Lately I've had lots of overwhelmed feelings coming from different parts. You might have totally different challenges than I do, but maybe these examples can help you see what kinds of feelings and beliefs could be involved.
For example, some parts tell me I should be able to stop what's happening in my country. "We should be doing something"? the parts yell. These parts remember being told by my mom "You can do anything you set your mind to". But we can't always fix things that are way bigger than we are. Just like when my mom and dad were fighting and I was too little to help, even adult me is not really big enough or powerful enough to get the country's chaos to stop. So all I can do is what i can do. Right now it seems like my right-sized next steps might include lobbying, providing aid for people, and joining or meeting with like-minded organizations. My parts need frequent reminders of what we can and can't do, but it's getting less frantic in my internal system.
I've also helped my parts realize that picking and choosing what to read or listen to, and when to do that, is vital to my wellbeing. The parts getting upset before bed or first thing in the morning isn't healthy. For me that means designating a couple times per day to read more in-depth articles that give context, hopefully along with some kind of action I can take.
This video will give you a chance to check in on the feelings and parts of your system that might be feeling overwhelmed. Feel free to share in the comments about how this goes for you.
I hope you can find ways to listen to listen inside, even in these difficult times, so you can help yourself- one part, one feeling at a time. That's Self leadership in action.
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