This video takes you through pretty much a whole IFS session, from noticing a part that’s upset to unburdening the beliefs and taking in new qualities. This is something that many people will need some help with, especially the first few times. You could contact me or other practitioners for help if needed. Below I’ll post some further resources.
I wanted you to get an idea about the whole process so you can see that there are ways to heal old emotional wounds. I will say that it’s not always this smooth or this fast- sometimes it takes several sessions (or even many sessions) to find and heal emotional wounds. But in my experience there is always hope. And even if beliefs aren’t fully unburdened, inner parts benefit from knowing there is a Self who cares about them.
Steps in IFS process, including unburdening.
Noticing an issue or feeling coming up, deciding to work with a part involved (there can be more than 1 part involved, but we usually try to zero in on one).
Once we’ve fleshed out the part (not in the video, but in past posts- asking the questions like where do I feel it in my body, age, visuals, what is it saying"), we can ask ourselves “Ho w do I feel toward that part”? If there are negative feelings toward the part, it shows we are blended with another part, so we work with that part till it’s ok with going forward.
When feeling compassionate toward the part we’ve started working with, we witness feelings and memories it wants us to know about. It’s especially important to ask how it FELT to be in those circumstances. We often have memories of things without being really connected to how that experience felt. Witnessing the feelings is especially important.
Redo: After the part feels we “get it”, that we understand how the part felt then, we ask “If you had had an adult or mentor then, what would you have wanted that person to do or say? What did you need then”? After the part shares that, if it feels right you imagine going in (and bringing anyone else you would need) to show the part what should have happened- provide the resources they needed (this helps show the part they weren’t responsible for whatever happened).
Speaking up for/with the part in imagination- Ask the part what the part wants you or her/him to imagine saying or doing to the people around the situation. What would have felt good to be able to express (it can start with “I wish you had…could have…”, but it could also be expressing anger or sadness or fear)- whatever feels appropriate to say or do in imagination.
Retrieval: When that feels complete, invite the part to come be with you in a safe place, to be taken care of by your Self
Unburden: Check for beliefs or feelings the part is ready to let go of- let them go -often into natural resources ( wind, water, earth, fire) or anything else.
New Qualities: When that feels complete, invite the part to breathe in qualities or beliefs for the future.
Requests: Ask for requests from you for today or the coming weeks- what does the part need from you to remember what has been released or taken in? Also- what activities might the part enjoy?
My website- For individual sessions or to get added to an email list for upcoming workshops: Karen's Contact page
Finding an IFS practitioner: IFS Institute Practitioner Directory
Peer groups helping with IFS process: IFS Peer Support Community
Parts Work Practice groups: Parts work practice
Self-Therapy Book by Jay Earley Self-Therapy Book
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