This morning I was reviewing what I think I know about emotional processing. This is such a hard time for many of us, with horrible news, followed by even worse stories, followed by hints of disasters soon to come. I felt overwhelmed and at a loss. What was I to do?
So I went back to my beginning skill of noticing and naming emotions. There was lots of fear, followed by sadness for all the people and beings being discounted, cut back, or even eliminated from consideration in our society.
And then there were many, many angry feelings. To quote some things from my journal (I find that "anger journaling" can help me listen to those feelings), some of the angers were:
Why do people keep believing liars?
Why can't anyone be honest about what's ahead? Even without the present political challenges, climate change will be so hard. Being honest about all that, doing a "all we have to fear is fear itself" might have helped us pull together rather than split apart.
Money makes the world go round (that was sung)
Watching all this happen seems unbearable
What should I put in my go bag? (anger turning into thoughts about action)
I wish I didn't think so much
Our political leaders don't really understand technology. That's very dangerous, because tech is the new ultimate power.
Why did it snow so much right when it was starting to be spring?
As you can see, there are lots of things going on in my head, and feelings flowing through my body. And writing about it did help to flow it through and out. I got to a point where I could work with one feeling, having witnessed what many of them wanted me to know.
Then I laid down to focus in on one feeling/part. It was a very scared, kind of frozen part that seemed almost ancient (although it appeared young). I asked myself the unblending/tuning in questions:
Where did I feel it in my body? Felt in my heart, so I put a hand there.
What did the part/feeling look like? She looked frozen, mouth open, disturbed
What age did she feel like she was? Youngish (maybe early teen) but also ancient (either knowledgable about history or having lived there- I do believe in reincarnation, but could also be reflecting book learning or maybe genetic experience)
What did she want to tell me? She said "Darkness always wins". Showed me memories or knowledge about history- holocaust, wars, famine, brutality, angry faces, burning of houses.
Since I was unblended, I could listen and witness what she shared compassionately. I got how convincing this seemed, as though things would automatically get worse and worse (just like when I'm sick I feel like I'll never be well again). I sat with her, let her know I was there and that I would never leave her. That felt different to her. To have someone who PROMISED to be there. Even if darkness was around, I would bring light into the situation.
In IFS we have a way to unburden beliefs that parts of us don't believe or want any more. She and I sent the belief of "darkness will always win" back through the generations and to a healing place. It was used as compost to grow some beautiful roses, the scent of which was sent back down to us.
The new belief she took in was:
"Light energy can blossom in this place, at this time".
That feels like truth in my body and my system. Light can blossom right now. And noticing and naming feelings, unblending, and unburdening (we'll get to that in coming weeks) are all parts of that blooming.
I invite you to check it out. You and your system might have your own ways of flowing emotions and unburdening past beliefs. You can try this one too, if that feels right.
Take good care.
Karen
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